I froze, you guys.
    There was a moment, an opportunity, to proclaim and affirm my faith.  And I froze.
    Over a drink with a few friends, the subject of religion came up.  One person said she didn't buy into any of it.  Another said he dabbled in various philosophies and enjoyed them as parables.  Myths.
    I didn't say a word, and I've been trying to figure out why.  It's honestly been eating at me for days.  In my silence, I denied my beliefs.
    Being a Christian is tough right now, and not in a bullshit, fabricated "War On Christmas" faux-persecution kind of way.  This isn't North Korea.  This isn't Iran.  In America, Christians are as free as they've ever been to practice their faith without fear.  Sure, a teacher can't lead her public school class in prayer anymore, but separation of church and state is not oppression.  Not even close.
    When you claim Christianity, people assume a lot about you:  that you're intolerant, closed-minded, hypocritical, judgmental, uneducated, or, worst of all, a Tim Tebow fan.  (Just because he loves Jesus doesn't mean he can throw a pass.  Come on.)
    I hate to say it, but there's a damn good reason why people perceive Christians this way.  We have a terrible public face.  Our most prominent figureheads are Fred Phelps, Pat Robertson, Rick Santorum, and the Chick-Fil-A cows.  Our churches hide scandals to protect their own.  Our leaders condemn the sins of others from the center of their own scandals.  Politicians on the Christian right look out for the wealthy and ignore those in need.  If I were an outsider, this is not a group I'd have any interest in being a part of.
    But, I'm not an outsider.  I was born into this mess, but I was lucky enough to be taught from an early age the lesson that most of the church seems to miss.  Matthew 22:35-40, from the mouth of Jesus himself.  "'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind.'  This is the greatest and the first commandment.  And the second is like it, 'Thou shalt love your neighbor as thyself.'  On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."
    The whole law.  Everything.  That's it.  Religions and sects and denominations depend on pages and pages of rules, structure and meaningless rhetoric, but Christ's most important commandments, two simple rules, get tossed aside.
    I think that's why I balked when I had the opportunity to share my beliefs.  I'm not ashamed of my faith.  I'm ashamed of what's been done to it.  I'm ashamed of what people think my faith says about me.  Part of me even started to wonder if there's something different people who don't like the direction of the modern church can call ourselves.  Something that doesn't leave a bad taste in so many mouths.
    But, screw that.  I want Christianity back.  I want my faith to mean the same thing to the world that it means to me, what it meant 2,000 years ago.  Love God.  Love each other.  It's a long road, but that's a damn good place to start.

You know how after you get to know someone, you don't have to fill every single moment with small talk.  There are no awkward pauses.  You can just be together in silence....

Well, that's how I feel about you, briantarnold.com.  Sure, I haven't updated you since April, and if we didn't know each other better, five months of silence would be weird.  But I knew you were there, and you knew I was here, and there was comfort in that.  Am I right?

No?  Fine.  I neglected you.  I'm just super busy right now.  Focusing on my career.  Maybe it was selfish, but maybe I've earned the right to be a little selfish right now.  Sure, it's fun to post with you about movies or what I had for breakfast (Lawless ***, hard-boiled eggs) but you have to understand what I came here to do, website.  I can't lose focus on that.

If you're okay with not being my top priority, with coming behind work and class and writing and my new improv team (more info to come soon-ish), we can try to make this work.  I don't want to lose you, because registering a domain name isn't cheap.

Talk soon?

2012 may be the end of the world as we know it.  I mean, it's not, but just in case, Hollywood decided to cram some amazing movies into the calendar just in case we need an exciting sendoff into Oblivion.  With so many great films on the horizon, it's honestly pretty tough to keep track.  But take umbrage.  I've done the legwork for you.  Here are 10 movies to look forward to, with some bonus honorable mentions.

10. Take This Waltz, dir. Sarah Polley-The beautiful and talented Michelle Williams is married to loveable schlub Seth Rogen, but she finds herself tempted by their studly new neighbor.  And, for the record, Sarah Silverman goes full monty in this one.  Whether that's a positive or a negative on your scorecard, up to you, but it's in my top 10 for a reason...  4/22

9.  This is 40, dir. Judd Apatow - Judd's first film as writer/director since the disappointing Funny People, so I expect him to bring his A-Game.  Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann reprise their roles from Knocked Up in an examination of a married couple hitting the big 4-0.  12/21

8. Lincoln, dir. Steven Spielberg - Quite possibly our greatest living director working with this generation's greatest actor to bring to life the story of this country's greatest leader.  I realize that's a lot of hyperbole, but so what?  It's frikkin' Daniel Day Lewis as Lincoln!  12/something

7. The Master, dir. Paul Thomas Anderson - The auteur's first movie since the brilliant There Will Be Blood is a thinly-veiled biography of L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology.  Phillip Seymour Hoffman starts his own religion, and aimless drifter Joaquin Phoenix (finally out of his bizarre I'm Still Here mode) becomes his right-hand-man.  And, I can only assume, shit goes bad.  10/12

6. Django Unchained, dir. Quentin Tarantino - Say what you want about Tarantino, but the man delivers.  His worst film (Jackie Brown) is still better than most filmmakers at their best.  And when he's really on (Inglourious Basterds, Pulp Fiction), there is absolutely no one better.  This time, he takes the spaghetti western to the South, as freed slave Jamie Foxx has to save his wife from evil plantation owner Leonardo DiCaprio.  12/25

5.  Safety Not Guaranteed, dir. Colin Trevorrow - The most interesting thing about this movie:  it's based on a real classified ad seeking a time travel companion.  One early review calls it movie Back To The Future as directed by Wes Anderson.  Throw in Aubrey Plaza and Mark Duplass, and I'm sold.  6/8

4. Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, dir. Lorene Scafaria - A sweet romantic road-trip comedy set just before the end of the world.  Steve Carell, Keira Knightly, Patton Oswalt, Melanie Lynskey, Adam Brody, Gillian Jacobs, Connie Britton, TJ Miller, William Petersen, and Rob Corddry star.  If that premise and cast don't get you, then you and I aren't friends.  6/22

3.  Moonrise Kingdom, dir. Wes Anderson - It's Wes Anderson being all Wes Andersony.  You already know whether or not this movie is for you.  Count me firmly in the pro-Wes Anderson camp.  5/16

2. Looper, dir. Rian Johnson - With Brick and The Brothers Bloom under his belt, Johnson has quickly become one of my favorite working filmmakers.  In this sci-fi actioner, he re-teams with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who plays a hitman hunting down his future self (Bruce Willis).  9/28

1. Argo, dir. Ben Affleck - A couple years ago, I couldn't have guessed that Ben Affleck would become one of the premiere filmmakers in the game, but then came Gone, Baby, Gone and The Town.  So, here we are.  Argo is based on a stranger-than-fiction true story in which the CIA teamed with the Canadian government to rescue hostages from Iran by posing as a movie crew shooting a sci-fi flick in the country.  Affleck leads an amazing cast featuring the likes of Bryan Cranston, John Goodman, Kyle Chandler, Alan Arkin, Michael Parks, and many more.  10/12

And the honorable mention goes to:

Jeff, Who Lives At Home, dir. Jay Duplass & Mark Duplass - I'm cheating here because, technically, I've already seen this movie.  But, it's absolutely brilliant.  Part sad, part heartwarming, all charming.  Jason Segel, Ed Helms, and Susan Sarandon really bring it, especially Segel.  He could have easily been a one-note stoner, but his Jeff is such a sweet idealist, he's impossible not to root for.  You'll laugh, you'll cry, and most importantly, you'll leave smiling.  Already released in select cities.  Look for it at a theater near you.

Also coming in 2012 (in no particular order)
The Dark Knight Rises, dir. Christopher Nolan - Nolan finishes off his trilogy, and it's sure to please.
The Avengers, dir. Joss Whedon - Marvel's biggest heroes together on the big screen.
The Amazing Spider-Man, dir. Mark Webb - Rebooting Spider-Man already?  Eh, worth a look.
From Rome With Love, dir. Woody Allen - Following up Midnight In Paris with another European spectacle.
The Hobbit, dir. Peter Jackson - Back to Middle Earth we go.
Prometheus, dir. Ridley Scott - Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron vs. aliens.
Gangster Squad, dir. Ruben Fleischer - Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Josh Brolin, Nick Nolte and more.
Killing Them Softly, dir. Andrew Dominik - Brad Pitt reunites with his Assassination of Jesse James director.
Gravity, dir. Alfonso Cuaron - George Clooney and Sandra Bullock, lost in space.
Skyfall, dir. Sam Mendes - The director of American Beauty tackles Bond.
The Great Gatsby, dir. Baz Luhrmann - Leo is gonna get that Oscar one of these days.
Les Miserables, dir. Tom Hooper - Hugh Jackman singing and dancing.  What could be better?


Only in 2012 would a new Batman movie and The Avengers on the big screen not make my top 10.  Goes to show ya, this is gonna be one hell of a year, people.